Motherhood doesn’t come with a manual and nothing can quite prepare you for the parenting journey ahead. Here are the things that the mums at Sassy Mama wish they knew before they became mothers!
There is no right or wrong way of being a mother. We all learn on the job and do the best we can. Very often, we make mistakes and even more often, we knock it out of the park, going above and beyond for our precious children. There are some things we wish we had realised before we became mothers. Perhaps these wouldn’t have changed our decisions or parenting styles, but a little heads-up never hurt! Read on, but be warned – if you’re a new or expecting mum, despite reading this, you’re going to discover your own Eureka moments ahead!
Read More: 4 Different Parenting Styles – Find What Works Best For You
What Works For One Mother May Not Work For Another
Emilie de Cannart, CEO, Sassy Media Group
One important lesson I’ve learned is that motherhood looks different for everyone. It’s easy to get caught up in the endless advice, opinions and expectations of others. But the truth is, you have to find your own way. It’s okay to breastfeed but it’s also okay not to breastfeed if it doesn’t work for you or your baby. It’s okay to co-sleep or not co-sleep, to sleep train or not, to have a confinement lady or not, etc. Do what works for you.
I also wish I had known that it’s okay for things to be imperfect. As a new mum, I was my own biggest critic, constantly striving for perfection in every aspect of motherhood. But the truth is, there is no such thing as a perfect mum or a perfect child. It all turns out okay in the end. The most important thing is to be kind to yourself, trust your instincts, and remember that you’re doing an incredible job as a mother.
Read More: Raising Resilient Hong Kong Kids By Teaching Them Happiness
Becoming A Mother Brings Unconditional Love
Mansha Channa, Head of Partnerships, Sassy Mama Hong Kong
I just didn’t realise how much life would change and how you could love someone so much. It’s also made me appreciate my own parents and realise every little thing they have done for me.
Read more: Things You’ll Do Differently As A Second-Time Mum
Motherhood Is A Test Of Patience And Leadership
Helena Chi, Marketing Manager, Sassy Mama Hong Kong
It’s been said before but I wish I knew just how much I could love someone. I have never loved anyone as much as I love my little one. That being said, he tries my patience sometimes. I wish I could act like a CEO. I feel I have to tap into my leadership skills constantly, especially because my child is autistic and has ADHD and that really requires me to be a constant cheerleader, mentor, life coach, goal-setter and mother, all rolled into one!
Read More: Raising A Child With Autism In Hong Kong – Be Prepared For Singing In MTRs!
Being A Mother Made Me A Maths Whiz!
Maura Thompson, Co-founder, Sassy Media Group
The worst part is that I was doing this all the time with a sleep-deprived brain! If I was going to be doing so much Maths all the time, I wish I had done it while I was getting ready for bed, instead of looking at perfectly decorated nurseries on Pinterest (clearly, I never got to use those!).
Read More: The Top Math Tutors And Tuition Centres In Hong Kong
Motherhood Made Me Even More Organised Than Before!
Maloy Luakian, Managing Editor, Sassy Media Group Hong Kong
Truth be told, I’ve always been organised but occasionally, I would slack off. Take all the half-finished crochet projects I started when I was in my early 30s (if I’d completed them, I could have a Marni-style crochet bag by now!). Having a child suddenly put my organisation skills into hyperdrive! I’m planning another crochet project to pass the time while I wait for my kid to finish his extracurricular activities, and I have a feeling that this time, I will actually get to finish it!
Read More: The Best Extracurricular Activities And After-School Classes In Hong Kong
There Is A Science Around A Baby’s Sleep!
Emily Chu, Partnerships Manager, Sassy Mama Hong Kong
I naively believed that babies would just sleep when they were tired; and if they were absolutely exhausted, then they would sleep for hours on end (win!). Boy, was I wrong! Who knew that if babies are undertired, they don’t sleep well? If they are overtired, they don’t sleep well. If they don’t sleep enough during the day, they don’t sleep well at night either. And if they sleep too much during the day, they sleep badly at night too! As you might notice, I am beginning to realise why there’s a whole science around babies’ sleep and so many books and guides on the topic. It took some time but both my kids now sleep 11 hours through the night – phew!
Read More: Newborn Sleep – Healthy Habits For Your Baby’s First Months
Motherhood Feels Like A Tightrope Walk
Anita Balagopalan, Senior Editor, Sassy Mama Hong Kong
Before I became a mum, I was sure that I wouldn’t be obsessed with my kids and that they would be just one part of my perfectly well-rounded and balanced life. I was wrong. They take up most of my mind and heart space. It’s taken a lot of effort for me to carve out the time for other things – for work, for my husband, for my friends, my parents, my health and for fun and relaxation. I cannot stress the importance of self-care enough. It’s just that sometimes fitting in all the aspects of what is needed makes me feel like a bit of a juggler. Despite support from family and friends, I realise that the mental load on mums is real and it’s going to take a few generations before we can strike a truly equitable balance.
Read More: How To Reduce The Mental Load On Mamas
Your Body Changes During Pregnancy… And Sometimes, Stays That Way!
Elle Noble, Managing Director, Sassy Mama Hong Kong
I wasted so much money buying some fabulous shoes just before falling pregnant, but I barely got to wear them as my feet went up a whole extra size.
Read More: 10 Things We Don’t Always Expect When We Are Expecting
Postpartum Anxiety Is Real
Kylie Mitchell-Maartens, Social Media Manager
Speaking of anxiety and sadness, no one had ever told me about D-Mer (I can see some mums looking it up this moment!). I couldn’t figure out why every time I had a let-down, I felt this feeling of dread. Eventually, a good late-night internet search made me realise that I’m not losing my mind and that it’s an actual condition. Mums, if you feel this, you’re not alone.
Read More: Postnatal Depression – How To Detect Symptoms And Find Solutions
Becoming A Mother Has Meant #BecomingMyMother
Ira Daragnez, Partnerships Support Executive, Sassy Mama Hong Kong
Suddenly, I find myself channelling my mother’s stern voice and giving my kids those ‘I mean business’ looks. It’s both hilarious and slightly terrifying to see my mother’s parenting techniques come to life through me. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree after all!
Read More: The Things Our Mamas Once Told Us